Fear of baking? This very easy، really good cake recipe can help

My own birthday cake baked، as did I، in the hot apartment. Ding! Time to test with a toothpick: clean، done. I let it cool، as much as anything could. The top was going to be a bit bumpy، so I used a serrated knife to carefully level it. The resulting scraps of cake lying there presented themselves as a fine snack; they were not. It is difficult to describe the dryness. “Arid” would be one word; any flavor had baked out، and a sandlike texture had been achieved. I looked at my own birthday cake، and the two rounds looked back at me. 

There was very clearly only one thing to do. I picked up one half of the would-be cake and heaved it out the open window. It landed with a muffled thud on the concrete one story below، in the back driveway of the apartment building. I defenestrated the other half of the cake in the same manner، to similar sound effect. I might have wept a few self-pitying birthday tears. Swimming never happened that day. 

Not even raccoons would touch the cake. If anyone drove their car over either half of it، the impact did not show. There it sat، refusing to decompose، for several days، until I finally went out and dispiritedly moved both layers to the garbage can.

This was many years ago. The relationship did not last long، but the fear of baking persisted، even after I finally figured out that it was not my fault — the old Magic Chef’s thermostat had gone bad، and it was baking، madly، at approximately 100 degrees hotter than its setting. Meanwhile، I’d been blaming myself for making poor choices and for baking with a resentful heart، which had served to impede any real problem-solving. Live and learn! I got one of those thermometers that sits in the oven and tells you what’s really happening، loyal and true.