The Unridden Horse - Improving Connection and Communication with Your Horse

and I have experienced the accompanying guilt of not riding. Yet Ive realized that Diva who lives in a track system on over an acre with Raven does not appear to care one bit that we are not riding. I got on her back after three months with no issues partly because we do other things together on the ground daily that create connection. This is not the case for all horses especially those living in a less enriched environment but for this horse my guilt is unfounded. She is content being an unridden horse and when Im ready shell be content being a ridden horse. 
I decided not to medicate which means she is neither capable of nor comfortable carrying a human. I have had to move through grief around this as she is such a smart and curious mare but given her varying digestive health I did not feel right about giving her daily medications shown to negatively impact gut and kidney health. Raven is content without riding and I am open to riding at a time when she is capable and comfortable if she wants to. I am always a believer in the potential for healing and change. 
Recently I had a session with a 17 hand eightyearold offthetrack Thoroughbred. His new human hadnt ridden him since he arrived from the track and she shared her frustration at how often she had been asked when she was getting on. In our session it was clear that he was in the process of finding connection and balance in his body after his time on the track. He was releasing stored tension and tensional patterns and exploring postures that allowed his back to be free of tension and pain when he was eventually ridden he had learned to travel in an inverted posture all while healing from losing his mom at just 10 weeks of age. Until his body and mind were ready any riding would amplify and further cement the issues already present. This is a common situation especially in young horses barely able to carry themselves much less a rider. The foundation that we provide for them to be able to carry the weight of a rider in relative relaxation with a supportive nervous system supplying focus strength optimal function and coordination ensures a longer and more sustainable relationship ridden or unridden with a body and mind
that get it and trust you and the process.
Im on team slow even though I am often tempted to rush things and will always encourage my clients to slow right down take a few steps back and focus on foundation building for the long game. I am also on team weird meaning sometimes youve got to do weird stuff with your horse to find out what works and youve got to risk looking a bit strange when doing it putting your horse in front of your ego. This might include not riding and trying out some other creative ways of being with your horse. 
There is so much relationship to develop and fun to be had when you take riding out of the equation and your riding will only benefit. And if you just dont like riding dont do it. Give yourself permission to be with horses in ways that feel good for you and good for your horses. Despite the social norms your horse will be happier for it and thats what really matters.