How to Maximize the Benefits of Our Connection with Horses

rider or a bad rider talented or not talented. Instead we can choose to see mistakes and failure for what they really are an inevitable and important opportunity to learn faster.
Messing up shows us exactly what we are doing wrong and what we need to do to improve. However we usually miss the lesson hiding inside a mistake because we are too busy feeling embarrassed or guilty or angry about it.
Step 2 Redefine who we are striving to be.
Once we reset our interpretation of mistakes and failures the next step is to reset our idea of the ideal rider. If we see the ideal rider as someone who never makes mistakes and therefore we think that to be our ideal or best selves we should never make mistakes then we are setting ourselves up for trouble. When reality doesnt line up with our expectations for ourselves in come the negative emotions. We get embarrassed guilty angry disappointed jealous resentful or sad. We cant change reality but we can reshape our understanding of the type of rider we are striving to be.
Let go of the idea of being a perfect rider who never makes mistakes. Instead embrace a more realistic ideal a rider who isnt afraid to fail and make mistakes a rider who is willing to risk embarrassment and discomfort to learn and improve faster a rider who prioritizes learning over looking like they have it all figured out. Holding this type of rider as our ideal means we dont ever experience a misalignment with reality and therefore we have no need for all of those negative emotions.
Step 3 Find the moments.
As we learn to reduce our negative emotions and spend more of our time at the barn in a calm focused patient and centred frame of mind we will be operating from a place that allows us to be present and recognise all of the important daytoday moments that bolster our wellbeing. We can identify and celebrate the small steps of progress that represent our journey towards mastery. We can notice and enjoy our own growth through challenges. We can feel the connection to our horses and the riding community around us. And we can recognise the moments of presence and flow that allow us to lose ourselves in the sheer enjoyment and challenge of getting the best from ourselves and our horses. It is our frame of mind
that makes the difference here. These moments are always available to us to recognize however when we are distracted by worry nerves selfdoubt or embarrassment they are almost impossible to notice and take in.
This is our challenge. We either get ourselves mentally prepared to benefit from the time spent with our horses or we continue along in the same muddle of embarrassment and selfdeprecation that gets us nowhere. This means setting the bar not at mistakefree perfection but at continuous learning and improvement. Accept the inevitability of mistakes and decide to love being a rider who makes mistakes often and learns faster as a result. Practice being calm patient and centred so that you can notice and enjoy the small daily wins that mark your growth and progress and the moments of connection with your horse and your community.