How to Maximize the Benefits of Our Connection with Horses

demands on time and resources the significant risks of climbing aboard a large flighty animal the inevitable impact of injury and the significant pressure of the competitive environment. All of this puts a real strain on mental health.
Like most interesting areas of life we face a paradox. Although spending time with horses has real benefits for our mental health the stresses and demands of horse sport often outweigh those benefits and leave us feeling worn out and mentally depleted. The problems stem from the fact that we care about riding so deeply that our successes and failures become a measure of our own selfworth. Because of this riding can become a very emotional experience a rollercoaster of worry fear and selfdoubt. As we become increasingly serious about succeeding in competition training our young horse or reaching our goals the pressure to reach these outcomes results in a host of negative emotions which cloud our ability to tune in to the parts of riding that benefit us.
We are all familiar with this cycle A stressed out emotional rider creates a tense horse which results in a frustrating ride which strengthens the frustration and stress for the rider. Strong emotions and stress make us very reactive resulting in inconsistent aides a reactive horse and sometimes unfair consequences for that horse. Why does this happen? Most of us know a friend who seems to exist as a perpetual bundle of nerves. Imagine being around this person and think about how it makes you feel. Can you feel the stress creeping through the air and clinging to you? Do you walk away from the encounter suddenly feeling unreasonably stressed out yourself? Emotions are contagious. When we dont take it upon ourselves to learn better emotional management our own emotions directly influence our horses.
So how do we break this cycle and regain more control over our emotions? Our experience of negative emotions and turmoil usually stems from a fear of failure and making mistakes and a desire to look like a good rider. Instead of being drawn down this road to nowhere useful here are the three steps to dramatically change our experience
Step 1 Redefine failure.
To be free of the fear of failing or making mistakes we must reset our interpretation of what these experiences mean. We so often see failure and mistakes as a defining moment something that labels us permanently as a good