Love Your Horse, but Riding Scared?

 change. Many riders find that, as they grow older, a generalized sense of unease in the saddle begins to develop.

Debra, age 36 recalled, “It began to happen after I had my kids. Suddenly I seemed more aware of getting hurt if I fell off and what that would mean. I began to ride quite defensively, which my horse did not like and he acted out.”

It’s important to remember that, as we age, our awareness of safety naturally does change. You know what it means to become injured, healing takes longer, and you may not be able to meet work or parenting responsibilities. Ignoring these thoughts will only serve to drive you in deeper, making you feel shameful. For some, it means acknowledging the fear and taking steps to deal with it. Debra made such efforts and is now enjoying her riding once more.

Get the right people on board. Realize that you are not going to do this alone. You need to assemble a team of experts. After all, you want to feel good about this decision. The goal is to get to a sense of peace. You will need a coach or horse professional you trust. You need someone to help you evaluate both your physical skill and your horse’s current state of mind. That person needs to assess both of you. It also doesn’t hurt to have a temporary, alternative ride if you can swing it. Experiencing yourself on another horse with a different disposition can help you understand the role you are playing in your primary horse relationship. This is often a confidence booster, as you get the opportunity to focus on your ride and skills instead of just survival.

You need to know how your fear is impacting your ride. A competent coach can help with this task. This is important as it may be that you are exacerbating ongoing safety issues by blanking or inappropriately applying aids. Some anxiety can be alleviated with quality instruction.

However, the fear is either too strongly associated with the one horse and does not show improvement, or it is determined that the horse is continually triggering the rider’s fear (or is not responding to training to correct behavioural issues). In these cases, a break up may be the best course of action. Sometimes, as it is with our human relationships, there are just too many factors blocking the development of a healthy partnership.

Get rid of the shame. If you look at other pairs sports, such as figure skating or tennis, when the chemistry is not right a direct approach is taken. What can be done to improve the working relationship? If the resulting plan yields little improvement, often a re-match is the answer.

But riders have complex and sometimes very emotional connections to their mounts. And it can be hard to admit to yourself that you have a problem in your relationship. Kate, a dressage rider, expresses feelings many riders can relate to:

“I did not want to ‘break up’ with him, initially because it made me feel like I had failed. I grew up in a household where you either did it correctly, or you failed, so not being able to ride the horse made me feel like a complete failure. Then the anger set in when another person could ride him better. I was not mad her personally, but the situation made me upset.”